Daily View, January

I kind of hibernated in January, but was storing up linkage. Originally I was just going to post these gradually, but fuck it, that's an impossible task, so brace yourself for the longest "daily view" yet (divided into categories for your convenience and my sanity):

Gadgets

• I can't quite imagine zonking out on this stuff, but for those who can, there's NapGrass.


• A chocolate penis cast? Why not: Clone-a-Willy.


• At last, vitamin enriched underwear.


• For the Marthas out there, Mobi hip ziplock baggies... because, what, the regular ones are just too damn minimalist?


• Walking the fine line between serial killer and supremely romantic are personalized DNA portraits. I'd only consent to getting one with my significant other if we could then get ANOTHER one after the divorce. Does the cynicism show on a molecular level? Hmm....


• I don't watch TV, but if I did, I'd want to watch it on an extrememly silly green-apple TV. Apparently I have a 13 year old Japanese girl on the inside (fighting with my bitchy inner gay man and the inner 13 year old boy, who I blame for my base enjoyment of things like toy cars and T-rexes).


• I suppose this was inevitable—technological accessories made of zen natural materials. Wood USB sticks, stone hard drives, etc. For the wireless buddhist in all of us.


• Dude, I dunno if I suffer from SAD, but even if I don't, I still kinda want this sunlamp.


• Well, the Gizmodo boys think the Whirlpool BodyBox is weird, but I dig it. Anyone who has ever had a tiny NYC studio where the shower is in the kitchen, right next to the oven, will understand and appreciate this much more sleek and beautiful version of consolidated urban living. Sadly, when the Europeans and Japanese consolidate, it's cool. When Americans do it, it's called a trailer. Sheesh.


• If you so chose, you could actually count your clicking. Yikes. I don't think I want to know, honestly.


• Turn your water bottle into a camera base. A nice cheap way to reassure yourself that you're not aging prematurely and actually get some digital shots that aren't blurry.

Miscellaneous Ego-based Foolery:

• Why am I absurdly satisfied by the fact that I'm the same height as Cameron Diaz and Charlize Theron and Julia Roberts? Why is it hard for me to fathom that I am FIVE INCHES taller than Cher? Has the actual height of Mel Gibson really never been recorded? Mary Queen of Scots was 6 feet tall? Christopher Reeve was 6'4"? Hasselhoff and Selleck are 6'4" as well?? Jeremy Irons is 6'5"? (Side question for future research: Can Jeremy Irons actually get any sexier?) Meanwhile, CLOONEY IS ONLY AN INCH TALLER THAN ME?? I'm taller than F. Scott Fitzgerald? Humphrey Bogart, Fred Astaire, Jackie Chan, Robert DeNiro and I will look eye to eye in the afterlife? I'm taller than Lisa Kudrow... yet she always seemed like such a giant on Friends. Elton John is only 5'3"? Edith Piaf was 4'8"?? Clearly I have some height issues, which I guess makes me the target audience for TallOrNot. Sheesh.


• Make your own Simpsons character (Courtesy of Ginna the Fabulous).

Art

• Jessica Joslin's cabinet of natural history-style curiosites.


• Cool moody photography showcased at Mythic New York.


• I can't decide whether DeeDee9:14, which bills itself as "contemporary abstract minimalist art for the modern collector", is total bullshit or tinged with basic creative brilliance. Probably both. People are suckers.


• Nice info graphic survey of the subway systems of the Americas.

Clothes & Crafts

• Friendly bodily organs on shirts and stickers by Weebs.


• Girl Scouts on the ass of a euro male? Hilarious.


• Guerrilla knitters profiled in an article called Knitta, please! (haha), also courtesy of Ginna.

Absolutely Miscellaneous

• Of all the Brokeback parodies raging around, these two are my favorite: the Marlboro Men and BrokeBack to the Future.


• "The strength of a unique male bond between a young hippopotamus and a 130-year-old tortoise will be tested later this spring when conservation workers introduce a female hippo to the mix."


• I knew this had to exist someplace: the Woody Allen walking tour of NYC (Scarlet and Soon-Yi not included).


• Hahaha, idiots. The State Department issued this statement: "Anti-Muslim images are as unacceptable as anti-Semitic images, as anti-Christian images, or any other religious belief." Thank you very much.


• In a odd but excellent music move, DJ Swindle creates 80s rap mashups—my fave is the Stunt 101/INXS hybrid.


• Thanks to YouTube, I finally got to see that Trapped in the Closet South Park episode that everyone was buzzing about. O, the trials of those without cable.


• I take grim satisfaction in knowing that something went wrong with Josh Spear and Charles & Marie. Maybe they figured out that he's only a mediocre coolhunter, and a pretentious one at that.


• Tsunami ghosts are keeping tourists from bringing cash back into parts of Asia.


• Yes, I am a sucker. But I love love love this Penguin Books stuff. I've been witnessed petting the mugs in museum shops and everything. Guilty and cheesy as charged.


• Any website that could possibly whip up this sentence is a friend of mine: "Of course, in Hollywood, the problem with a niche is that it often becomes a rut—or worse, an expanse of career quicksand that can swallow an actor like the horse in The Neverending Story. That would make Luke Wilson the new Artax and his Frat Pack niche the new Swamp of Sadness." From FameTracker: the Farmer's Almanac of Celebrity Worth.


• Asians Get Lost In Translation (Groan! Couldn't the Village Voice have come up with a better title than that?).

Miscellaneous Quote from an Unrecorded and therefore Unlinkable Source

• Some of 2005's blockbusters were knockoffs that traded expansive thoughts for petty ones. Coldplay, the English band that's openly eager to become "the next U2," came up with more of its grand, chiming, would-be anthems, only to ruin them with lyrics unworthy of the music's splendors. Like a cheesy self-help guru, Coldplay inflates listeners' vague fears and insecurities, then offers itself as a panacea: "I will fix you," Chris Martin vowed.

Whew, that's it!! I'm spent.