Daily View, 12/9

• My Beating Heart... great idea (especially as a surrogate napping ground for my cat, who won't leave me the hell alone while I'm sitting at my desk... always wanting to snore with his head on my chest while I try to type around his fatness. Cute but annoying as hell.), but not for $120. Sheeeeesh.


• People have been ripping off the MTA and creating their own versions of subway signs. Part of me laughs, part of me wishes some guy would declare his love for me in this very stupid manner. Haha. And the comments are pretty funny, especially if you're a designer/typographer. Muhahaha.


• I kinda love this Maloo laptop case, though why you'd want a felt mousepad is beyond my comprehension...


• That wierd Maple Syrup Smell is back on the streets of NY...


• I don't know what I find creepier/funnier, Ruth Marshall's knit animal pelts or the sheer amount of ASS on the Coolhunting website via the American Apparel ads...


• Fuck. Circuit City has a nice deal on a Gamecube bundle via Consumerist. I may finally have to cement the fact that will never leave the house again by buying something to play video games on.


• The Fantastic Four and Dukes of Hazzard both came out on video Tuesday—there must be some sort of breast master plan. I had the misfortune of renting both, because... well, let's face it, at this point I'll watch just about anything. Not much to say about Fantastic Four, except that I wish poor Ioan Gruffudd (love him... LOVE HIM) would stop trying to infiltrate Hollywood via crappy blockbusters (King Arthur? Ioan...). Aside from Ioan, it was crap. Jessica Alba is hot, Michael Chiklis is not. Wasn't that what it said on the posters?
  
  Bizarrely, I have much more to say about the Dukes of Hazzard. I grew up watching the original Dukes—my brother had a General Lee big wheel (appalling, looking back, considering we were the only white family on an all black street. How the hell did that fly?) and my babysitter had a huge crush on John Schneider (I was too young to appreciate that then, but I understand it now. The man was and always will be adorable, as Bo Duke or Papa Kent or whatever. HummanaHummanaHummana Halahala Yum). My dad chuckled at the misadventures of Roscoe P. Coltrane and Flash, the big hounddog. Matchbox cars were launched into the air and occasionally we yelled "Yeeeeeehaww!" like big hillbillies. But this vague sense of Hazzard nostalgia was not enough to make me enjoy the new version, which is basically crap. But the people sure are pretty. Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott both appeal to me on some fucked up level. Yes, yes, Jessica Simpson sure is fit and could probably kill a man with her rack. Even Burt Reynolds is pretty as Boss Hogg—which is just wrong. Boss Hogg was never and should never be pretty. But pretty people, boobs and a whole lot of car stunts don't make for a movie I enjoy. At this point, I'm afraid to revisit the original show on DVD, in case there is even a slim chance it's as bad as this new movie (it probably is). I'll just let out a quiet little yeehaw here at my desk and leave my warped nostalgia intact. Sigh.